The Ringlady of the Astounding Dapper Cat Carnival, Ms. Deeskay, stood behind the heavy curtains staring out at the audience. She was panicking, but that was normal. Her top clown, Mr. Felix Stripes the Only, crept up beside her and peeked through the curtain, resting his chin on her bright red top hat. She was on the shorter side with long auburn hair and glasses. Her elaborate outfit (a short skirt with striped leggings, a bustier, loose puffy top, and a long tailed jacket) was accented with tones of purple and a black choker. He was tall and pale, wearing only black and white. A suit, jacket, and bow tie, his top hat decorated with a band of silver grommets. White tousled hair stuck out from his hat, covering his eyes.
“Madam, what ails you?”
“Look out in the audience, tell me if you see who I see.”
Felix looked out, scanning the sparse crowd for unusual patrons. A few upper crust fellows, the usual middle-classers, and then a mottled assortment of what appeared to be sky-pirates.
“We have pirates!” He grinned.
“We have dangerous pirates!” She exclaimed. One of their modified musicians walked up behind both of them, he took a sip of absinthe and leaned down to Ms. Deeskay.
“What/are we/looking for?” He sang. He was stocky, with well-maintained black hair, four tattooed arms, and a scruffy goatee. His outfit was a carefully altered vest and striped slacks. He called himself Kraus and played guitar and pump organ at the same time.
“Middle row, near the center ring, gent in the vest and the lady in the red bandana and goggles.” Ms. Deeskay said pointing a fingerless gloved hand. Kraus looked out into the crowd. There was a group that stood out, clad in slightly more mismatched clothing. The center of the group was a woman with a soot smeared face and knotty brown hair. She wore an array of pendants, a large multi-pocketed vest, a long black jacket and a ruffled velvet shirt. Perched on her forehead, above the Jolly Roger on her bandana was a pair of brass goggles. She raised a mug and took a long pull from it, laughing to the gentleman next to her. He was wearing a bowler, a pair of spectacles, a wide grin and a vest, his simple button-down shirt sleeveless. His vest was also covered in pockets, many of which had pocket-watch chains looping from them. On his face was one scar along the chin and another Y shaped one between his eyes along the bridge of his nose.
“Oh me-oh my/ it seems to be the dread sky cap’n/her fierce crew/Ring-lady/ what shall we do?” Kraus sang again.
“Dread Captain Sylver and her crew of cut-throats…” Ms. Deeskay said worried, “What do we do if they pillage us? What if they’re here for the clockwork orchestra and the performing owl-bears? We can’t afford to replace them! We can’t afford to replace anything! Oooohh…” She pulled at her hat, yanking it down over her eyes.
Felix produced a ‘polychromatic rubberized cylindrical inflation unit’ from his sleeve and tied it into the shape of a puppy, “Worry is unbecoming of our fair Ringlady.”
“I agree!” Kraus sang. Ms. Deeskay composed herself and adjusted her bowtie. The show, as was commonly said, must go on. She motioned for the house lights to be dimmed, stepped out from behind the curtain and took center ring. The spot light whirred to life.
“Welcome one and all, ladies, gentlemen and androgynes! I am your Ringlady, Ms. Deeskay and this is the Astounding Dapper Cat Carnival: Traveling Performance and Curiosity Show!” Her pyrotechnician set off some small sky-flower charges and the show began, the audience applauded.
“First on the itinerary tonight: in the Left Ring, The Professor and his Improbable Flora and Fauna show! Please, dearest audience, some audile appreciation for The Professor!” The spot light shifted and the pinstriped Professor began his routine. Ms. Deeskay snuck backstage to gather her nerves.
“Something lurks/ in your eyes/ something ails you.” Kraus sang straightening his hair. His band was up next and would be playing for most of the night.
“It’s that pirate, she kept her eyes on me the whole time…”
“Worry not/ dear employer/ we’ll protect thee from her!” Kraus hugged her with one pair of arms while straightening her jacket with the other.
“Mizz! The Professor is wrapping up!” One of the clank-wranglers called.
“Right! Kraus is next with his Colossal Construct Chorus then Felix. I want the Aerodynamic Avian Acrobats to get ready for a clown/acrobatics double-show.” She pointed to the various performers. They all complied. Ms. Deeskay steeled herself, “once more into the breech, dear friends…”
“…And that is why I never go swimming in France!” The Professor said to much cheering and applause. The spot light shifted as Ms. Deeskay stepped into center ring.
“A wonderful menagerie of oddities and beasties! Another round of applause for The Professor!” Another wave of cheers and capping, “We have for you now a regular fixture to the Dapper Cat Carnival. In the left ring, Alexander Kraus and his Colossal Construct Chorus! In the center ring, is our very own Color-Snatching Clown: Felix Stripes the Only!” Ms. Deeskay began to applaud, backing out of the ring to let Felix do his tricks. The other clowns pulled up in a steam-driven carriage and did their parts.
A while later, Ms. Deeskay stepped in the middle of the chaos that was Felix’s act: “And now above the rings, the Aerodynamic Avian Acrobats! Please, again, esteemed observers, a burst of verbal encouragement!” The house lights came up a bit, the spot light shifted to the left ring, a second spot fluttering on the high wire. The clown troupe took right ring and the acrobats began to climb. A few of the jumpsuit-clad stagehands scuttled out and hefted the safety net into place.
Ms. Deeskay began to slip backstage when the steam-pistol went off.
“RINGMISTRESS!” A voice rang through the silence.
Ms. Deeskay turned slowly: Captain Sylver was standing, a massive bronze multibarrel repeating steam-pistol in her hand.
Oh, goodness… Ms. Deeskay thought, “Y-yes, esteem-ed guest?”
“Wouldn’t the acrobat show be a trifle, a smidgen, a modicum more exciting for us payin’ cust’mers,” she turned round slowly, looking about the audience, her crew grinning and laughing, “wivout a net?”
“M-m-madam…The thing is…w-we try and keep our performers safe so that they can continue to amuse and amaze…should something go awry.”
“I can tell you, madam, that there’s not one among us who doesn’t perform similar acts day in and day out, for less in pay I assure you, and without a net to break our fall.” The bowler-wearing man next to Captain Sylver said loudly.
Sylver whacked him playfully, “Mr. Hetherson, keep yer overly wise mouth shut.” The Captain looked at Ms. Deeskay again. Deeskay tried to vanish into her hat.
“Well, Ringmistress?” Sylver sat back down, keeping her steam-pistol across her lap, propping a foot on the seat in front of her.
Ms. Deeskay stammered a moment. She straightened her back and pointed to Captain Sylver: “Dear, madam, you may be the captain of YOUR ship, but this is MY carnival and I shall run it the way I see fit!”
The audience stopped breathing. Sylver’s eyes slimmed. She leaned forward, sneering slightly.
“P-please…” Ms. Deeskay added.
The Captain stood up again, walking across the tops of the seats and jumping down to the center ring. She walked across the stage, swinging the massive steam-pistol.
All of the carnies stood on eggshells as she stepped right up to Ms. Deeskay.
“Ye show some fire, Ringmistress.”
“I actually prefer Ringlady,” Ms. Deeskay countered, she tugged at her bowtie anxiously. Sylver leaned in closer, sneering.
“Did you just correct me?” She spat.
Ms. Deeskay shrank a bit, “Define correct…”
Sylver stood up and turned, “Alright, lads! Prepare the hydraulics, activate the gyros and prepare to lift off!” She shouted. Her crew gave a deep “AHRO!” and scampered. Sylver hefted Ms. Deeskay over her shoulder with surprising ease. The crowd gasped.
“Attention Dapper Cat Carnies! We’re takin’ yer Ringlady! Resist and be cut down where ye stand!” Sylver shouted. There was a tearing sound, a rope ladder dropped down from the top of the circus tent.
“FALSE MOON! ASCEND!” Captain Sylver shouted to her crew. The ladder swooped upwards: the zeppelin soared into the sky.
Felix took center ring: “Ladies and Gents, does anyone have an airship or an ornothopter we might commandeer?”
The audience murmured.
“I thought not…”
A sample of my steampunk writing. More to come next week.
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